Straight Mashed Homie

I don’t know what I was more surprised by: the fact that Randy Moss was in my local shithole bar (he’s shorter and a little bit more pale in person) or the quality of lady he’s pulling these days.

You see that little strip of black being drowned in the rolls? That’s a belt. There’s a special place in heaven for belts that have lives like that.

Look at those fucking arms. it takes serious dedication to grow arms like that. This is not a case of letting yourself go a bit when you have two kids and a career to worry about so your physique stops being a priority. Arms like that are the result of meticulous laziness over years and years. The only times those arms have been raised has been when there was a cheeseburger in them.