Science Ruins Everything Again

Beer Goggles Fog Up Sexual Signals

There goes science once again trying to fuck things up for everybody by somehow implying that beer goggles are a bad thing. A study found that beer affects a man’s ability to determine attractiveness, which is exciting and unexpected news to you… if you’re an idiot. But then these assface scientists go from benign and moronic and kind of cute in an ‘aww wook at the widdle scientists and their widdle prove something obvious tests’ to horrible and atrocious and evil. The scientists now say that when a man drinks, his ability to decipher if a lady is DTF or not goes out the window and he automatically becomes a date rapist.

This is obviously terrible for fat women everywhere who rely on the blinding affects of alcohol to have sex. it’s equally terrible for men everywhere, who use the blinding affects of alcohol to convince their penises that fat women are attractive. If everyone goes around assuming that more than seven drinks will lead to surprise sex, no man will drink and no woman will hang around in bars after 1 am. With nobody having sex or drinking, people will be forced to entertain themselves with either Oreo binges or abducting day laborers and torturing them to death before burying them in unmarked graves behind abandoned industrial parks.

Thanks again science.