I have a pimple or a boil or something on my ass, above the hole but between the cheeks. I'm not too into anal peering (though that's probably a more valid way to predict someone's future than palm reading, at least you'd have some insight into their diet and hygiene so you could make an educated guess as to their life expectancy), so the only way I found out about this is that I started seeing little drops of blood on my TP after wiping my bottom. As far as I can tell, every time I sit down to crap, i spread my cheeks for the first time in a few hours (lactose intolerance has me in and out of the bathroom like my name is [insert popular celebrity with a drug problem] at a rehab facility).
Anyway as I was pulling my cheeks apart yesterday while looking in the mirror to investigate the blood coming from my butt, I though to myself "if I were really fat, I couldn't do this." Can you imagine the horror of having an unknown source of blood in your anal region and not being physically able to check if it's coming from a wound of some sort or has an internal source? That alone is would keep me from gorging myself on six helpings of fish and chips every Friday night. Not this guy though:
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